Hardships on the Journey

Hey Everyone,

So it’s Wednesday, the middle of the week. Starting with my birthday, I decided to turn my life around and live my life boldly with no apologies. Part of this process is taking care of my health. I mean, we could all take better care of ourselves, right?

For me, this meant getting back onto my supplement routine and to give up caffeine. Just so you know, I have nothing against caffeine, but I don’t drink coffee. It takes too much sugar and cream to make it taste good to me for it to be worth drinking. Which brings me back to giving up caffeine. I’m giving up soda simply because there is too much sugar in it to be healthy for the lifestyle I want to live. Add to that the fact that I can drink a 2 liter daily, and well, I have a soda addiction.

So I gave up soda cold turkey on Monday. It’s Wednesday and my head feels like it’s going to explode. I know that if I gut through this, today will be the worst and I will feel much better. But today? Today I am questioning everything. Why do I do this to myself? Why do I turn to junk food for comfort? What would one little cup of soda hurt? It couldn’t possibly hurt anything.

That’s not the truth though. It would be a step on a slippery slope and before I know it, I would be back into the same routine, using the soda to feel human, even though I didn’t feel great on it, I would be functional. Don’t get me wrong, soda tastes delicious, but the pound here and there quietly sneaking on and the energy crashes is not something that I am willing to accept anymore. I deserve to have good health, to have natural energy and a slim frame (Still working on the last one, lol). I just have to keep reminding myself that nothing good happens without effort and a little pain now will save me a lot of pain and heartbreak (and most likely hospital bills) down the road.

So how can I take this struggle and turn it into a triumph? Well, if I persevere, my health will improve and I will hopefully be able to clear up some of my brain fog. I know that my struggle is not unique, so I’ll be able to relate better with others that are going through this. And, as a bonus, I’ll be able to use this in my writing. When I write, I want my characters to feel so real that my readers feel like they could meet them walking down the street. So I can take this and use it in a story somewhere. For example, a character signs up to guard a foreign caravan and they don’t drink coffee, so they have to deal with the withdrawal while staying alert. Or maybe it’s a hostage situation, how do you deal with all the stress of such a situation while your head feels like its about to explode? How does it change depending on whether you are the hostage or the hostage taker?

So what struggles are you dealing with? What battles are you or your characters going through? Let me know, I’m really curious to find out 🙂

Happy Wednesday!

Being Real

The internet has given us freedom that we could’ve never imagined. It has opened worlds to us that would’ve been impossible even a few decades ago. Behind the safety of a computer screen, we can become anyone or anything. It gives us a degree of separation that helps buffer us from the reality of the situation. But in doing this, we’ve lost a bit of ourselves. In our rush to show the world our amazingness, we try to hide our flaws away. But in my opinion, our weaknesses and flaws are part of what makes the sum of us. We are not complete without our scars. So I’ve decided to be totally honest with you guys today.

I’ve been absent from my blog for a while. That is because there has been a lot going on in my life. Now, I am not trying to excuse myself, but I thought that I would share what has been going on.

1. I published the second book in my series in May. After publishing it, I was hit was major anxiety and depression. Who was I to be a writer? What if everyone hated it? Was I just kidding myself that I was cut out to be a writer?

These and many other questions assailed me during this time. With some time and sleep, I was able to work through it, but the biggest help that pulled me through this time was my reason WHY I write. I write because I love my characters and stories and want to share them with others who will hopefully love them as much as I do. While it would be nice to reach J.K. Rowling fame, if my stories resonate with even one other person, I’m happy.

2. I was working with an editor on reworking my first novel “In Search of Justice”. Now, there are two things to realize for this. One, I wrote my first novel in just under a month. After hiding my writing for years, I decided that I was sick and tired of hiding my writing and challenged myself to write a mystery AND publish it in time for Halloween. After all, I’d seen much worse on Amazon. When I sat down, I was fortunate enough to have the plot for a six book series pop into my head. I did as I challenged myself and managed to write and publish a mystery in just under a month in time for Halloween. I was so wiped out after it happened. So after recouping and writing the second book, I decided that it was time to go back and polish up the first book. Second, I absolutely hate grammar. It has been my arch-nemesis since 7th grade. I would have meltdowns about it. I love to write, but grammar is a struggle for me. So the rewriting/polishing part really took it out of me.

3. During the last part of June, first part of July, we discovered that my aunt, my father’s sister, had lung cancer. We were unsure what stage it was, but we were worried that it was quite advanced and maybe had even settled in her bones. After several weeks of uncertainty and testing, we were relieved to discover that it was only stage one and only on one spot in one lung. We were very thankful for that.

4. Since December 2016, I have been learning American Kenpo Karate Jiu-Jitsu or Kenpo for short. We test every two months to advanced rank. This month, I tested for Advanced Blue, which is about halfway to Black Belt. I find testing extremely stressful, even though I love the art itself, so I’m always wiped after a test. On a positive note, I did pass the test 🙂

5. I have started on Book Three of the Seeker Files, In Search of High Society. After fighting with Aletta and Lirim for several weeks, I went back and wrote a prologue before returning to where I was. Apparently they just wanted me to properly set the stage, because it’s been going swimmingly since.

6. And finally, two days ago, my smartphone died after it threw itself off of a table. Because of a low paycheck, it will be a few weeks until I can get a new one. I am in technology withdrawal, lol.

 

So where am I going with this? I honestly don’t know. I try to be upbeat and positive in my posts. I try to wear a happy mask for the world and honestly, most of the time it’s the truth. My life could be so much worse than it is and I am truly blessed. But I also think that when we try to hide out struggles, we are cheating those we engage with the chance to share theirs and also the ability to encourage others that they will get through things. So please, share with me. What are some struggles that you’ve encountered lately?

Happy Tuesday Everyone!