The Seeker Files New Covers

Being a writer is a funny thing. It’s an urge so strong to share a story or your knowledge on a subject that you have no choice but to put words on the page and send them out to wherever they may land.

This is the hardest part of being a writer, working and sharing the joys and dreams of your heart into a world that can be very unkind. Don’t get me wrong, the world is an amazing place and I have met so many incredible people that have lifted me up and given me a hand. But the fear is always there.

When I was fifteen (Ah, brash youth), I fell prey or almost did to a vanity company. After hearing back for months and months how wonderful my book was and how the couldn’t wait to work with me, I was told that they would publish my book for 4k dollars. I don’t know why this was such a devastating blow to me. I know that publishing is not a free industry, but they hadn’t mentioned anything about money or fees before even starting the process, otherwise I would’ve researched other options. I think what my teenage self heard was that no one would ever be interested in my work unless I paid people to care. Either way, I was crushed.

When I first started writing The Seeker Files, I was tired of living in fear of sharing my writing. I never stopped writing, but I stopped sharing, which means that I concealed a large portion of who I am. And putting on a facade is exhausting. I challenged myself to write a mystery in time for Halloween and publish it. I did it, although I was exhausted, and I did it so scared. But the thing I told myself was that I was doing it brave and boldly.

I released my book under the name Kat Seaholm. I told myself it was so that I could keep my privacy in case the series ever took off, but what my fear was whispering was entirely different. It told me that no one wanted my book when I was 15, why would they want to read anything by me now? If Kat Seaholm wasn’t me, I wouldn’t be hurt when people didn’t like my writing.

Imagine my surprise (and disbelief) when I heard good feedback. Discounting my family (Sorry guys, you have to live with me and are required to be nice about my writing), people told me that they enjoyed my writing and my characters. My writing wasn’t perfect, I’ve had to do several revisions, but people saw something that was worth taking the time to polish.

Also recently, I’ve taken the Clifton Strengths, which has been freeing and life-altering for me. I know that I’ve mentioned them in other posts and I plan to do a post on just them another day, so I’ll talk about it later.

It’s been nearly 2 years since I first sat down to write the Seeker Files. I can say with confidence that I am not the same person I was when I first sat down. I am glad to say that I have changed and I have grown. And I am no longer ashamed or scared of showing the world my writing and who I am.

Slowly but surely I’m getting everything transferred over from Kat Seaholm (I’m thankful for her, she stood for me until I could stand for myself). Today, I got back the covers for my first two books with my real name on them. I admit, I cried a little when I saw it, a mix of happy and sad tears.

So here they are

Book One

Book Two

Aren’t they pretty?

So what are you doing scared right now? How have you grown and changed? What are you doing today that 2 years ago you would’ve told yourself was impossible?

Happy Friday!

Where to Start?

I should’ve brought a map

So it’s Monday morning again, new week, new start. Ah, sometimes I am ever the optimist. What the situation truly is? It’s not even seven a.m. yet and I am most decidedly not a morning person. However, I made myself a promise that I was going to get up and get going, that I am going to follow through on all of my plans. I am sitting on my bed and I have a ginger kitty distracting me in my lap, begging for attention and cuddles while I try to concentrate. Forget typing, lol.

But I made myself a promise and I’m going to keep it. So I am up and I can somehow work around the needy feline (practice makes perfect, lol). However, I also promised you guys honesty. When I booted up my computer this morning and started running through my to-do list, I almost had a panic attack. I have so much to do, where do I even start?

Do I start by getting my cover art redone with my real name? But I want to make some changes to the books, some parts that I skimmed over before that I want to expound on, which will change the thickness of the book which in turn will change the dimensions of the art that I need.

So I should start with writing. After all, that’s what’s holding up the cover art and republication. That has it’s own set of difficulties. I really need to get editing my third book (I hate editing. I try to liken it to pruning a plant to make it healthier and more beautiful, but seriously, editing is one of the most painful processes for me). People have been really patient while waiting for me to get the third book out. But am I doing them a disservice by having substandard earlier editions out there? And what about book 4? I don’t want to have people wait forever for book 4 to come out, now that I’m getting my act together. Ok. Deep breath. Let’s put it aside for a minute and come back when I’m a little more awake and have my thoughts in better order.

Let’s start with social media. After all, if no one knows about my books, it doesn’t matter if they are great or not, because no one will be reading them. Oh yeah, I am still in the process of converting them over from Kat Seaholm. That’s all right, this I can do. Oh, I need to know my password? I’m sure I wrote it down…. somewhere. Ok, good. Don’t know what I was thinking when I made that password but I can post now. But what to post? I don’t want to come across as needy or overly aggressive. I want to be funny, but not flippant. And definitely NO politics. The world is crazy enough, I just want to make the world a better place, to give people a break from all the crazy.

And thus the hamster wheel of my crazy brain goes around and around. I will eventually find a way to break it into manageable chunks and find a way to move forward through the fear. Although at times I wish for a clear road map, I find so many unexpected gems on the journey that I could’ve never possible anticipated.

So what is going on in your life this week? What big goals/dreams are you trying to accomplish? And what do you do when you get overwhelmed by your to-do list?

Happy Monday Everyone!